When i was 6 Jordan moved in next door to me. 13 years and she has become one of my best friends, heros and role models in my life. basically she is like the older sister i never had. i practically lived over at her house babysitting her kids or just chillin' until they moved up to Boise when I was in seventh grade. i have learned some hardcore, life changing life lessons from Jordan and here i am to share a few with you.
1)If you are going to go half way you might as well go the whole way. (she did clarify this statement after she said it but it was too late the damage was done)
2)If a two year old walks into your room at 8 in the morning with an open can of diet coke, you know you have a problem.
3)Jumping a car is not as easy as it looks.
4)you can say turd but not puke- if you say puke you get smacked on the head with a spoon really hard
5)$7 nail polish does not paint itself.
6)always put an extra dime in the meter.
7)Boys are douches no matter what
8)NEVER marry the rebound guy
9)you are either going to die from a heart attack or cancer. go out with a bang
10)if you dont text it, you cant be blackmailed
11)only cool people can be spies
12)there are no prince charmings. just guys
13)boys grow chest hair on their missions
14)it goes chocolate cake, cute boys and then air
15)when riding a bike for the first time in 10 years do not ride on a busy street.
16) he may be cute, but he is a boy and boys are spawns of satan.
learn them, live them, love them.
or at least laugh at them like i do when ever Jordan tries to have a deep thought.
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